During my junior twelvemonth in high school, a good friend of mine told me a dramatic narrative about her relationship. She told me how her spouse criticized her and ever blamed her for everything that went incorrectly. She one time said “ I can non talk my head when I am about him because he ever yells at me and state me that it is my mistake [ . . . . ] ” I could see the hurting in her eyes even when she spoke. I told her straight up that “ it is sad to be hurt by the loved 1. ” I explained to her that she was in an emotionally opprobrious relationship, and I besides told her to bury about the cat and maintain traveling on, but she refused and commented that “ her fellow is excessively sweet and a nice cat. ”
Maltreatment and force can go on to anyone, yet it is frequently caused by gender differences. It is normally males who tend to mistreat their girlfriends in relationships. It is of import to retrieve that adult females can besides be maltreaters and work forces can be victims. Maltreatment does run in a barbarous rhythm. In her book Domestic Violence, Margi Laird McCue claims that “ a adult male is at an increased hazard of going a batterer if he was exposed to spouse force in his childhood place ” ( 53 ) . It is really possible for an grownup to reiterate the behaviour they saw in the relationship straight environing them as a kid ; therefore the kids of maltreaters have the opportunity to go maltreaters.
This may be the instance of the vocalist, songster, and histrion, Chris Brown born on May 5, 1989, in Tappahannock, Virginia. He was accused of domestic force and felony battery against his girlfriend, twenty twelvemonth old vocalist Rihanna. This led to his apprehension on February 8, 2009. Harmonizing to Wikipedia, Brown was raised surrounded by domestic force ; his stepfather allegedly abused his female parent. Awkwardly, in 2006, before the incident happened, Brown told MTV maltreatment was “ an influence in me about how to handle a adult female. ” He besides insisted, “ I used to ever experience the hatred for anybody that disrespected a lady. ” Chris Brown can be considered a dissembler. Harmonizing to New York Daily News, both Brown and Rihanna reportedly began contending in Brown ‘s rented Lamborghini when Brown received a text message from another adult female after go forthing Clive Davis ‘ pre-Grammy party late Saturday. It was the dark before the Sunday award shows which they were both scheduled to execute. The force caused both of them to lose the shows as BET observed.
Brown abused his girlfriend by choking and endangering to kill the dad prima donna before she lost consciousness. A neighbour, hearing a adult female ‘s shriek, made calls to 911 and constabularies arrived to happen an injured Rihanna left entirely on the scene. In today ‘s society, some argue that force is acceptable. Chris Brown crushing Rihanna to the decease is something considered to him as being a adult male. “ If your miss acted like a adult male treats her likes a adult male ” person tweeted on Twitter during the incident. Not merely did a adult male give recognition to the vocalist, plentifulness of misss tweeted the likes of, “ what ‘s Rihanna kicking about? I ‘d allow Chris Brown crush me any twenty-four hours. ” Of class, famous persons are being looked up to by immature grownups. As grownups, we study our famous persons non merely online, but in the famous person magazines every bit good, hence media plays a large function in domestic force. Although non all females think likewise, some of these immature females will likely desire to be beaten by Brown because he is good known and rich. By any agencies, this is the relationship of the media to domestic force. Media usage some famous persons to advance force via music pictures, magazines, vocal wordss, and etc.
As antecedently stated, the abused victim tends to travel back to the relationship with the maltreater, trusting that things had changed. Rihanna has late released a vocal titled “ Birthday Cake. ” Her fans were shocked when she announced on her Twitter history that she will join forces with Chris Brown on the birthday bar remix. “ She is so f*cking stupid. I officially hate her ” person commented. That confusion for many turned into letdown. Everyone is hence defeated to hear Chris Brown on Rihanna ‘s “ Birthday Cake ” remix. Yesterday, I saw a station on Facebook which a cat declared that “ he has lost regard for Rihanna ” and I agree with him for naming Rihanna “ dense, weak, and stupid ” for allowing Chris Brown back to her life. Most times, the maltreater does everything they can to recover control and maintain the victim in relationships. Harmonizing to helpguide.org, a adult male abuses his spouse, and after he hits her, he experiences autonomous guilt. He says, “ I ‘m regretful for aching you. ” I agree that most adult females tend to remain in opprobrious relationships because my friend in high school confirms it.
The maltreater ‘s apologies and loving gestures including purchasing flowers, go forthing a note on the electric refrigerator that ‘s cute and nice, conveying her favourite java drink to her work, and all these sweet things can do it hard to go forth. It is necessary to cognize that when person is in an opprobrious relationship, it is difficult for them to do the right picks. Most abused people have a hard clip looking for aid. Surveies and surveies on abused adult females over the past 20 old ages have found that they travel diverse waies out of opprobrious relationships ( Margi Laird McCue 53 ) . Many beat-up adult females are isolated from friends and household and think they have no 1 near to whom they can speak excessively. In these hard times, household and friends are hence the lone 1s that can back up the victims, by speaking to them, and demoing them that there are people that can assist. My friend in high school had a difficult clip go forthing her fellow. It was difficult for her to go forth her opprobrious fellow because she believed that one twenty-four hours he will alter as he was so called a sweet male child and nice cat. My friend was traveling through what is called “ The rhythm of force in domestic maltreatment ” trusting that the fellow would alter ( “ Domestic Violence and Abuse ” ) . It is of import to cognize the marks of maltreatment if the individual happens to be in an opprobrious relationship or knows person who is in an opprobrious relationship. All eyes on Rihanna as she has 1000000s fans of immature misss all over the universe and she is hence puting a bad illustration for misss. Rihanna unifying with her opprobrious ex-boyfriend has negative impacts ; it gives more power to males. Males can evidently experience O.K.s about hitting their adult females because it is clear those adult females ever return. Peoples in public oculus such as Chris Brown and Rihanna are puting a bad illustration to people who idolize them.