Can We Just Be Friends English Literature Essay

When it comes to replying the inquiry of whether or non work forces and adult females can merely be friends it depends on whom you are inquiring. In research this subject comes up as being a really slippery one, you can inquire about every life human being on this planet that inquiry and they will either reply, yes they can or no that ne’er works out. It comes as being a really interesting subject and ever raises a big argument on the issue. Between research workers and personal experiences I can state that in some instances the right adult male and adult females can hold a lasting relationship that merely revolves around there friendship towards one another. This research paper will give me an chance to uncover several of the theories on whether or non work forces and adult females could of all time last as merely being friends or if sexual tenseness gets in the manner every clip.

In order for work forces and adult females to be friends, they have to acquire to cognize one another good plenty to see if they could even last in a friendly relationship. If their friendly relationship is pure and true so we can seek and reply the inquiry of whether or non work forces and adult females can merely be friends. In the article “ Can Men and Women Be Friends? “ , the writer Camille Chatterjee starts off by stating “ If work forces are from Mars and adult females are from Venus, it may explicate at least one of their shared beliefs: Work force and adult females ca n’t be existent friends. ” She subsequently goes on to stating that sexual tenseness is to fault for the logical thinking behind why work forces and adult females ca n’t be friends and if there was non tension so the friendly relationship would ne’er work out because the adult male would go forth. In this article she brings in a psychologist named Linda Spadin. Linda states the fact about how adult females use to remain at place while the work forces worked, the lone manner that a adult male and a adult female would of all time be able to run into was if she was individual looking for some type of a romantic relationship. Besides in this article she talks about how the populace may non be ready for cross-sex relationships, some say that when it comes to these type of friendly relationship, simple things like poke ating, winking, and incredulity can all be mistaken for a romantic relationship when it comes to the populace.

We all know that in every type of friendly relationship there is ever a great trade of work involved and in cross-sex relationship even more work is needed. Laura Guerrero, writer of the article “ Relational care in cross-sex friendly relationships characterized by different types of romantic purpose: an exploratory survey ” province that cross sex relationships come with a batch of duty. Both spouses in the friendly relationship have to get the better of the fact that romantic dealingss can non be found in their friendly relationships. In this article it states that one spouse could desire the relationship to tilt towards love affair, but the other could purely desire to be merely friends. “ Heterosexual persons, keeping a cross-sex friendly relationship involves the fondness, company, familiarity, and aid found in same-sex relationships, but it besides involves downgrading gender ” , here this article is saying something that Camille Chatterjee did non. Heterosexual ‘s face about the same jobs when it comes to cross-sex relationships, they have to about turn out to the universe that the lone thing they are seeking to make is perpetrate to a permanent friendly relationship without any strings attached.

Sometimes these cross-sex relationships can give off the incorrect signals to spouses of our opposite sex friend. Pamela Newton wrote in her article, “ Can Men and Women Be Friends? ” she states that she had a difficult clip with her fellow seeing his female friends. She states that their relationship started, as a long distance relationship and she hated it when he would name her up and state her about how he saw a film and went out to dinner with one of his female friends. “ Of class he reassures me that these adult females are “ merely friends ” and that he ‘s non making anything incorrect. But so I remember that our relationship began while he was dating person else, and that we, excessively, were one time “ merely friends ” . “ This was stated in her article. In this specific illustration a cross-sex relationship could stop a romantic relationship between two people. Even though nil romantic is traveling on between the “ friends ” , but jealousy sets in on the romantic spouse of the friend and she ends the relationship on fright of acquiring injury. Newton states in her article that her relationship with this adult male started out when he was already in a relationship with person else.

When it comes to cross-sex relationships in the media it becomes trickier, one film that fits in with cross-sex relationships is When Harry Met Sally. This film seems to be a really good illustration of how a adult male and a adult females could ne’er be merely friends. When Harry and Sally meet and get down their journey towards New York, Harry admits he ‘s attracted to Sally and He says, “ Work force and adult females ca n’t be friends because the sex portion ever gets in the manner ” . Sally argues his statement by stating she has a figure of adult male friends and sex has ne’er gotten in the manner of her relationships with them. As clip progresses they bump into each other old ages subsequently and as they start speaking the cross-sex relationship statement surfaces once more. What is amusing about this film is that when they meet for the first clip she could barely stand him and said they should seek to be friends, while he on the other manus told her they ne’er could be friends. Throughout most of the film they ne’er hid their true feelings for each other, but towards the terminal sexual tenseness comes between the two and you could state their friendly relationship was decidedly turning into something more. The portion in this film that shows a true illustration of cross-sex friendly relationship was when Harry says, “ You know, you may be the first attractive adult female I have non wanted to kip with in my full life. ” This showed that work forces and adult females can be friends and it does n’t count that they finally became a twosome. True relationships will merely last if a bond of friendly relationship is created in the first topographic point and When Harry Met Sally is a great film to assist depict this lasting relationship.

My experience with work forces and adult females being merely friends is really dead. I feel that I agree with what most of my paper has said. Men and adult females have to work on their relationship together in order to do it work. Every relationship takes work ; friendly relationship in my sentiment takes more clip and more force per unit area on each individual in order for it to follow out. The illustration that I will be utilizing is about a friend of mine that I have known since I was born and in my instance cross-sex friendly relationship does work. My ma has a close friend that has two childs, a boy my age and a girl that is in 6th class. Ever since we were small we use to play together and did everything as a group. Over the old ages we have counted on each other for things and know that we can swear one another whenever we needed something. Now that I am 19 and he is 20, I know that our friendly relationship will ever be true. When you know person like I have for this long you know everything about them and I know that no affair what happens he will ever be at that place to back up me and assist me out. I can candidly state that my best friend is about like a brother to me.

When you have been friends with person every bit long as I have been a friend with my friend they about become a brother like figure to me. I know that if I were of all time in a bad state of affairs my friend would be at that place in a pulse to assist me out. We do everything for each other and without my best friend I would likely be lost. If I were to compare my friendly relationship with a adult male to what I have researched above, nil would fit up. I could ne’er conceive of being more than friends with this individual. I feel that since we have known each other so long and have become so close that we could ne’er possible be more than merely friends. I feel that in some instances my friendly relationship with this adult male has lasted longer than any friendly relationship with my female friends because he is easier for me to confide in and there is ne’er any bitchiness involved in anything as there would be if I were speaking to my girl friends. I will state that this is my lone cross-sex relationship it decidedly is a true Platonic friendly relationship with no hope or privation of anything else.

Cross-sex relationships do be for a big portion of our population, but it does necessitate a batch of excess work were as a regular same sex friendly relationship likely would n’t. Cross-sex relationships have a batch of velocity bumps that you have to steer over, but in the terminal every bit long as it comes into being honest and everyone drawing their ain weights the relationship should be able to win. Romantic relationships normally know what they want out of the relationship and their honestness is what helps them through their lasting relationship. This is the same to be said out of a cross-sex relationship, honestness is ever a immense factor in about every relationship, no affair what type of relationship it is. When it comes down to the large inquiry of can work forces and adult females merely be friends, it evidently depends on whom you ask to happen out what the true reply is.

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