Grief Can Affect People English Literature Essay

Grief can impact people in many ways and can differ from individual to individual depending on their race, civilization, faith and background and dependant on the relationships that they have with each other. Their feelings can be of guilt, sorrow, choler, whereas some may experience the sense of alleviation and release. In this instance survey I will be utilizing the mourning theories and theoretical accounts and associating them to each member of the Hobson household following the decease of Audrey Hobson.

Unknown girl

Contact had merely late been made and was a success so so losing her female parent was heartbreaking due to holding merely late met. The unknown girl found out of her female parent ‘s decease by reading the local newspaper. The unhappiness which she felt had to be kept indoors and feigning nil had happened and in secret put on a “ courageous face ” . She has no support and cipher to turn to because no one knew of their relationship and she began to endure in silence. She felt she could non do contact with the household for fright of being rejected but needed to state her adieus.

The unknown girl decided that she would go to the funeral but sat at the dorsum and spoke to no 1 in instance she was asked who she was and felt that it would non be appropriate at this sad clip. The unknown girl felt rejected and sad at the funeral addresss because she had so many things to state, yet could non. She decided to travel and see the graveside when everybody else had left to go forth flowers and to eventually state adieu. She felt rejected once more as she was non given the chance to portion the memories and bequests of her female parent ‘s life.

When the heartache is unrecognized and the person has no right to sorrow, so I would associate Disenfranchised Grief to the unknown girl. Disenfranchised heartache happens because the love you feel for the individual who has died has non been recognised. When the decease of person is non acknowledged, you are non merely fighting, you are frequently entirely as others are non cognizant of the loss. Having to transport on in mundane life as if nil has happened would do it really hard to acquire practical support. The sorrowing procedure can go hard and complicated when proof ; recognition and support are non in topographic point, which is critical to the healing of heartache ( Doka, 1989 ) . Doka ( 1989:7 ) suggests that the “ really nature of disfranchised heartache creates extra jobs for heartache, while taking or understating beginnings of support ” ( Doka, 1989:7 )

The unknown girl has had to endure in silence at her female parent ‘s decease and ends all thoughts of of all time run intoing her household. She will frequently believe of what might hold been if she had been introduced or acknowledged before her female parent had become sick and passed off.

Gavin

Gavin is 40 eight old ages old and lives in Australia with his married woman and two kids. Gavin has a full clip occupation as a surveyor and enjoys his weekends loosen uping by being with his married woman and two girls. He has lived in Australia for some old ages and his contact with his parents in England is either by missive or telephone calls. Gavin had ever felt a little ignored when he lived at place due to his sisters disablements taking much of his parent ‘s clip. Gavin worries about his male parent and in peculiar how he was get bying with taking attention of both his female parent and his sister. Ray has called Gavin on several occasions showing his concerns about Audrey and Gavin said he had felt that his male parent was get downing to trust on his advice instead a batch.

Gavin stated his male parent had cried on the last two occasions when talking on the telephone and understands why and besides has empathy with the emotions his male parent will be experiencing. Gavin feels that he is supposed to be moving “ strong and tough ” and in control for the interest of his male parent. Gavin frequently feels loath to speak to his male parent about his feelings and hopes that he is able to assist his male parent in the most positive manner. Gavin is able to speak to his married woman about this but he still frequently tries to force his emotions aside as he feels it is the best manner to get by. Gavin has focused really much on his working environment to seek and maintain himself busy but is yet to be after his trip place for his female parent ‘s funeral entirely. When he returns back to Australia he is be aftering a commemoration with his married woman and two girls as they had ne’er met his female parent.

I believe Gavin ‘s Grief could be viewed in footings of Intuitive and Instrumental theory. Gavin has had to do determinations to assist his male parent to take action and work out jobs. Gavin has had to move ‘tough ‘ and had to maintain up the feeling to his male parent that “ Gavin will cognize what to make ” . Gavin does shout when alone with his married woman but she finds him loath to speak to her, particularly about the manner he is experiencing.

Depending upon the loss and the connexion with the deceased, one form possibly more marked than the other. Martin and Doka ( 1999 ) suggested that many work forces are on the instrumental terminal and adult females on the other, yet research workers have stressed that gender does non needfully act upon the form of heartache. Martin and Doka ( 1999 ) besides noted that persons, who follow the form of continuum, may demo more blended forms, utilizing emotional and behavioral schemes to accommodate to the loss ( Martin & A ; Doka, 1999 ) .

Anita

Anita is 30 old ages old and has Down ‘s syndrome. Anita is really nomadic and has basic communicating accomplishments. Anita is able to demo her emotions and expresses them openly by being happy, sad and frequently impatient. Anita does non hold respite attention and her male parent is her full clip carer. Anita ‘s male parent is non able to take Anita out every bit much as he would wish to because being 70 two he struggles and Anita would frequently inquire off. Anita was really near to her female parent and they would sit together at place and ticker telecasting. Anita would read to her female parent and her male parent would state how much that would assist, even if for a few minutes he could travel and make some speedy basic family jobs. Anita would ever sit following to her female parent and embrace her particularly when Audrey had been off for short term reprieve. Anita has been told by her male parent that her female parent has passed off. Anita misses her female parent awfully and has taken to have oning her female parent ‘s dressing gown and slippers when she is at place.

Anita has cried openly and says that she feels confused because she has non seen her female parent for a twosome of hebdomads and does non believe that her female parent has died. Anita has yearss being really quiet and complains of holding concerns or experiencing ill. On other yearss Anita would inquire her male parent to assist her to make a Jigsaw or inquire if she is able to travel and see the community Centre because she has seen people rolling in and out. Anita is presently doing a book, with the aid of her male parent, of all of the understanding cards that people have sent. Anita finds this really comforting.

I would associate this to the Duel Process Model ( DPM ) , developed by Stroebe & A ; Schut ( 1996 ) . This procedure draws upon the traditional theoretical accounts of heartache and recognises that both commanding and showing feelings are of import. This theory introduces oscillation between get bying behavior and has two facets in accommodating to grief. These are Loss Orientation and Restoration Orientation. These differ between the individual sing heartache actively and concentrating on the individual who has died to concentrating on reconstructing their life by happening new relationships or fall ining activities that help in traveling off from the heartache.

Children tend to pass more clip in the Restoration orientation, whereas grownups will be given to be in the loss orientation ( Walter & A ; McCoyd, 2009 ) . In Anita ‘s state of affairs and due to her disablement she is clearly seeking to understand her female parent ‘s loss by showing how she feels to doing new adaptation ‘s in her life and wanting to travel and see the local community Centre. I feel as though Anita besides has Continuing Bonds associated with the work of Dennis Klass. The Continuing Bonds theory is the belief that they are holding continued relationship with the dead ( Klass et al, 1996 ) . Anita is staying connected to her female parent by have oning her dressing gown and slippers which make it easier for Anita to get by with her mourning. To hold memories of her female parent is particular to Anita so Continuing Chemical bonds are of import as they honour the past and supply a foundation for a hopeful hereafter ( Care for the Family, 2012 ) .

Beam

Ray has been married to Audrey for over 50 old ages. Ray misses Audrey profoundly but says he feels a small relieved that she died because he was happening it difficult work taking attention of both his married woman and girl. Ray is sad that Audrey died entirely and while in respite attention and feels guilty that he was non at that place. Ray is still in incredulity that Audrey will non be returning place and is in daze. Ray is worried he will non be able to travel on from Audrey and has non been kiping. Anita has been more demanding merely recently and he frequently finds himself shouting and non eating every bit frequently as he should. He has been in contact with his boy Gavin in Australia because sometimes Ray feels he can no longer transport on and has a sense of numbness and believes that Gavin will cognize what to make. Ray attempts to maintain himself busy by concentrating more on Anita and conceive ofing his married woman has non died. Ray is 70 two and is happening it even more hard to take attention of Anita particularly holding no household or friends nearby. Ray has been socially excluded in the past five old ages due to holding to take attention of both his married woman and girl. Ray says he dreams of his married woman and frequently believes he sees her sat following to Anita. Ray frequently finds himself circling his marrying pealing around his finger and kiping on his married woman ‘s pillow as he can still smell her.

I would associate how Ray is experiencing to The Tasks of Mourning which is a theory constructed by William Worden. The Tasks of Mourning are the experiences you go through when person dies. The first undertaking is to accept the world of the loss but Ray does non believe that this has happened. Ray needs to confront the world that Audrey has died and if he continues to deny Audrey ‘s loss he will protract the grieving procedure. The 2nd undertaking of mourning is to see the hurting of heartache. This degree will frequently experience as though you ca n’t get by and experience angry. Ray is physically and emotionally tired due to non kiping decently and conceive ofing he sees Audrey in their sleeping room. The 3rd undertaking of mourning is to set to the environment with the asleep missing. Ray is able to set to the environment he is in because he has ever been the chief carer to his married woman. Ray is truly disquieted about traveling on and holding to run into new people in his life. The concluding undertaking of mourning aid in the emotional backdown from the deceased. This does non intend they have to happen new spouses but means that Ray will go on with his life and aid in reconstructing his societal and emotional demands. This undertaking does non intend that you love the asleep any less but shows that you are capable of traveling on and loving other people ( Worden, 2008 ) . Ray has non yet reached the 4th undertaking of mourning which is to travel on with his life. Ray is still keeping his bond with his married woman and still wears her marrying ring and Ray finds this reassuring that Audrey still is really much in his life.

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